17 and hurting.?

You are right, it isn't fair that you are going through this but that doesn't change the fact you are. You are still so young right now and you do not need to have all the answers. You have to find love for yourself first before you can give it away to another. It's nice your friend likes you, but that doesn't make you obligated to be her life mate. Be her friend and if she is a true friend to you, she will support you through what you are going through and be there for you. Be open with yourself and with her about your confusion. Try if you can to leave your shame and fear behind. I wish you the very best.